I was warned during my early days in journalism that you must never speak ill of the dead.

You can say what you like about them when they are alive and kicking but once they fall off their perch you have to pretend that they were a pillar of the community who everyone will miss.

Never mention in an obituary, I was told, that the deceased had a conviction for sexual assault and was well-known for stealing his neighbour's knickers off the washing line. Focus, instead, I was told, on the fact that he was a staunch Christian who never missed chapel on Sundays.

The same rule seems to apply these days to senior public officials who have fallen from grace. Take the case of Maria Wallis, who has been forced to step down as chief constable of Devon and Cornwall after just four years in the job.

Now that she has gone all we seem to be hearing is what a wonderful job she did: more police officers employed, crime figures down ... even praise for the fact that she wore an "off the peg" uniform instead of having one tailor-made.

Well, I'm afraid that doesn't wash with me. I think she was a disaster and I'm glad to see the back of her.

How many people have called the police during the last few years to report a crime in progress, only to be told that someone will be in touch within two or three days?

I even heard from a local police sergeant recently that his own wife was astonished by the lack of interest shown when she called to report an incident.

Yes, there might be more officers, but where are they? They're sitting behind computers or attending courses on how to be politically correct!

A highly regarded Chief Superintendent, with 30 years service, who recently took early retirement, has stated publicly: "Staff morale is at the lowest ebb that I, and others, can ever remember."

Let's hope that Mrs Wallis is replaced by a good old-fashioned copper who is more interested in putting scum behind bars than taking officers off the beat to join "diversity teams."

There is, of course, little chance of that because any appointment has to be approved by the government.

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Have you heard the latest health and safety nonsense? Firemen are being stopped from sliding down their poles when responding to an emergency call!

If the date was April 1, I wouldn't have believed it. I would have been convinced that somebody was winding me up. But it's true. In fact, a new fire station in Plymouth has just been opened and there is no pole: firemen have to run down two flights of stairs when the alarm sounds.

Devon fire chiefs say sliding down a pole is too dangerous because firemen could hurt themselves as they land. Have you ever heard such claptrap? They're surely more likely to trip and break their necks running down stairs! And will they soon be prevented from attending fires because of the risk of being burned?

I feel so sorry for the dedicated front-line public servants like firemen, policemen, doctors and nurses who must wake up each morning and wonder what latest insanity will greet them as they arrive for work.

The real health risk, of course, is the bureaucrats who invent this rubbish. They should be sprayed with a strong pesticide and buried in lime.

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I must apologise to Brian Milstead, the former chief executive of the Royal Cornwall Hospitals Trust, in case my piece last week had anything to do with the cancellation of his farewell bash.

Before the ink on last week's Packet was even dry, news reached me that the party was off and attempts to collect money from staff to pay for a farewell gift weren't going too well either.

But Mr Milstead won't shed too many tears. The value of any gift bought by former colleagues was never going to be a match for the golden handshake he received from taxpayers.